wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She told me I should be a condom model.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
