My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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