you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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