The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
