No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
