Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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