Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
