wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
