yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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