awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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