Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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