So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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