I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
