Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think my fart just growled at me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
