ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
