its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
tell me about the fingering
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