I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
