His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
