:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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