So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
