I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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