He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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