Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
whose parrot is this?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize