He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize