even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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