I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
