Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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