is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
