Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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