NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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