yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I want to fling myself into the sun
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
