hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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