You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
