Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
