Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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