Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
