Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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