I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I did not marry a roomba.
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