A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
