I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
