if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
