I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
