So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
