Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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