Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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