Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
