If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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