the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
