He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
