the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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