Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
