I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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