We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
