okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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