careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
