the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
