Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
