At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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