Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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