omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
